And this is where the problem lies.
When I talk to people in Jordan about living in Jerusalem and travelling and ask if they have travelled to Jerusalem (1 hour away from Amman), most of them say no. It is too hard for Arabs to get through the checkpoints. And the Israelis don't have to let anyone in if they don't want to.
As we crossed the border from Jordan into Israel, our American tour bus whizzed past lines of cars waiting to cross, because we are American and get special privileges--and some of those cars had been waiting since early in the morning to be the first across when the border opens at 8 am. And then going through the checkpoint on the Israel side, we lined up in our own special room to go through the metal detectors and have our passports checked, while in another room, the Palestinians were crammed together, hoping to get through the checkpoint before it closed at 4 pm for Shabbat.
As much as I love special privileges, sometimes it makes the bile rise up in my throat. And I wonder what it would be like to go through a checkpoint every day to get to school. I wonder what it would be like to send my children to elementary school or junior high knowing that they had to cross a checkpoint to get there, and they may or may not get across.
As much as I love both the Israelis and the Palestinians, sometimes even I am aware of the discrepency in treatment that is given because of the country on your passport.
And for this reason, sometimes I [feel uncomfortable] being American.
(PS, I recently changed the title of this post. I really do love being American. But it does make me feel awkward and awful that I get special treatment when others are suffering. But I hate suffering, too. There is just no way to win with me.)
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